Hello Again!

Summer has been a busy time full of ups and downs. I am still looking for a full-time job and trying to figure out what I am meant to do. One child broke her arm and has had to sit out of soccer... but she still made the team! We all went on a mission trip to Fort Worth, Texas in June. That was an incredible week as a family serving the Lord! Then our kids both spent time with their aunt, uncle and her boys and then also spent time away from home at camp and friends' house. Now we are looking towards the start of the school year as the girls begin high school and junior high! In May, we attended a Strong Bonds marriage retreat put on by the National Guard. I am so excited to say that we get to return to the next retreat in a few weeks. This time we get to help with the sex panel (question/answer time) and I get to share my couple's almanac with the group! I am busy getting my things gathered for this event- I am getting my pre-printed couple's almanac questions ready to post for sale.

Making Goals and Journaling

After posting about the change in our lives, my job loss, I had a reader contact me about goals and how it helps cancer patients. She is involved with the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance as a contributor to their blog. While her article focuses on cancer patients and how they can benefit from keeping a journal and recording their goals, something like this is also beneficial for couples. My husband and I have started a "Couple's Almanac" that we record events from our lives, lists of things (places to travel, restaurants we like, our short term and long term goals, how we met, what we want our future to look like and more). This is therapeutic and gives us something to work on together-- another benefit. Enjoy Melanie Bowen's article and begin a journal soon! Connect to her article by clicking on this link: Journaling and Goal Setting for Cancer Patients

Weekend Away for Two

Wow! It seems like ages ago that I posted last. For good reason-- my hubby and I spent the weekend away from our kids enjoying time with one another. No daily distractions and just time to focus on one another. It was fabulous! We took off on Friday afternoon and went to a nearby town until the following day. The whole idea was to spend time together and make it an adventure. The only thing that would have made it better would have been nicer weather (it was cloudy and sometimes rainy). We went shopping, ate dinner, spent time in the jacuzzi and just enjoyed one another. The following day we walked around town and a few shopping areas before heading home. The weather prevented any type of real outdoor activities because of the rain. It was great fun going to dinner at a local restaurant and sampling Australian fare. Teasing and laughter were both part of our conversations. Afterwards we took time to get out our Couple's Almanac questions and answered a few about the other person.. what are your spouse's passions, what movies do you like to watch together, and more. Check out our blog post that tells all about what a Couple's Almanac is, why to make one and it even has some sample cards that can be filled out to make your own! http://journeyoflove-sarah.blogspot.com/2011/05/couples-almanac-how-to.html a follow-up blog post... http://journeyoflove-sarah.blogspot.com/2011/05/layout-for-our-couples-almanac.html Have a wonderful Tuesday!

More ideas for a Couple's Almanac...

                          
                      


More page ideas for YOUR Couple's Almanac!  I hope you have started your own way of recording your personal story of you and your spouse.  Keep working on it and adding new things as life continues; we are planning to go see a concert soon and those tickets will go into our almanac!  Quotes, copies of e-mails, cards, photos, etc are all things you could include.  What about?  Receipts, tags from favorite clothes/brands, movie tickets, pics of favorite DVD/CD covers... send me your ideas to add to the list!

A Layout for our Couple's Almanac

After posting about making a Couple's Almanac I have been busy making layouts and other elements for our almanac. I am so excited to continue filling out our journaling cards that are all about our lives as a couple. I have purchased many digital kits to make the cards and other elements for our almanac. It is so fun to "play" with all the different parts of the kits.

I will try to post more of my journaling cards so you can see what we will have in our almanac. There are so many ideas of things to include in such a "book." I have all summer to get creative and work on our almanac. That's one of the many joys of being a teacher!

The past week or so has been so busy that I haven't had a chance to write a new post. That is on my to-do list for this week too. It keeps growing longer and longer by the minute! But that's okay... certainly not a complaint! I am more than thankful for it all!

Military Salute: An album for my husband

This album was made for my husband several years ago as he prepared for his 2 weeks of Annual Training.  He is in the Missouri National Guard 135th Army Band, based out of Springfield, MO.

I always try to do something for him when he has to go away for his training.  So this year was this album!  I used a military theme to decorate the front and as a color scheme for the inside pages.  The cover is chipboard covered in scrapbook paper, hole punched and tied with twine.  The inside pages is scrapbooking cardstock cut slightly smaller than the cover.

I feel it is VERY important for my husband to know that I support his decision to continue in his guard unit.  So this is one small way I can do that while also giving him a glimpse of home while he is away.

A couple's page; what I love about him. . .

A page about family. . .

A page about our daughters!

Another one of photos of us... before & after kids!

A personal pocket to hold my wishes for him
and a page with my thoughts!

Other years I have put messages in envelopes labeled for each day of the week, made a mini file folder album with questions and quotes (pictured the post on Couple's Almanac: How To), used date tabbed dividers for an album and more!  I'll share some of those on a later post.

Supporting your spouse, whatever they are involved in, is a critical component of a successful marriage.  We are to lift our spouses up which allows them to feel good about themselves.  If we don't support our spouse it creates tension and if left unsettled could lead to your spouse seeking someone who does support them.  One of my BIGGEST goals in my marriage is to compliment my husband in front of others (when he's around or not) and also to NOT talk badly or complain about him with others.  Gal pals can often be heard complaining about things their husbands do or don't do and the same with husbands about their wives.  I have always tried to show respect for my husband to his face and when he is not around.  One of man's most basic needs is to be respected!  This is a close second. . . after sex!

If I focus on the positive things in our marriage and "think on good things" then that will show in my relationship.  I do not nit-pick him for things he does or doesn't do because I wouldn't want him to treat me that way.  It is amazing when I focus on what he does do (which is way more than a lot of husbands-- hopefully not those reading this though) that I can easily overlook things that might otherwise bother me.  We are in a committed relationship for a lifetime; a covenant marriage.  Why spend time being upset with my spouse and cause unnecessary anxiety for myself?  This simple way of thinking is all about losing the view of "it's all about me" and focusing on the relationship Christ has given you.  The relationship is more important, so react in that manner.  If something really does bother you then approach your spouse in the appropriate way.  You certainly don't want to sweep things under the rug, but you also don't need to bring up little things all the time.  We get enough negativity from the world and don't need any more in our homes.

While I always try my best, I do slip up and forget these things.  When I do, I find the need to apologize and then move forward from there.  If this is something new and intriguing to you then I encourage you to give it a try.  When we desire a change, change your own attitude and desires-- that will be reflected in your relationship.  Take baby steps and don't give up!

COUPLE'S ALMANAC: HOW TO

What is a Couple's Almanac?

 A Couple's Almanac is a way to record your story as a couple, recount special times together, share dreams, make lists of future plans and so much more!  I first read about this project in one of our favorite  books, Red Hot Monogamy, by Bill & Pam Farrell.  I made a note in the margin that I thought it would be a fun idea to do together. . . and to my surprise my husband answered back in the margin that he agreed!  We use this as an opportunity to connect with one another during dates, on long drives/road trips or even spontaneously!  

These are a few photos from the almanac we have started as a couple. Ours is a 12 x 12 size album, simply because I had a few layouts that I wanted to include in the almanac that were already done and were that size.  Also, I do like the idea of plastic protecting the pages.  Other ideas to use:
* A journal (blank or lined)
* A sketchbook
* A photo album (make "pages" 4 x 6 and slip in spaces)
* A 3-Ring binder
* An altered book
* Envelope album
* Library pocket album
* Paper bag album
* Composition book
* Digital book

Any place you can record information could be the starting point for your Couple's Almanac.  What do you have stashed around your house?  Brainstorm ideas of things to include in your album and get started tonight!

We began by just making lists of topics/questions/things to include in our almanac.  We used a steno pad and then I went back to transfer our information to the "cuts" stuff later.  Mainly because I didn't have all the stuff with me when we began. . . who wants to take all the stuff on a ride in the car?  I'll settle for the steno pad and pen!  My husband is used to me asking questions or having him list things for journaling in our scrapbooks... so this wasn't too much of a stretch for him. . . plus he liked some of the topics we planned to include!

When it came time to put some of our information into the "almanac" I went straight to a layout I created years ago. . . with our love story in mind.  Notice the "r" and "s" in the photos along with words like "dream", "time", and "love".  I had the perfect use for it now. . . our Couple's Almanac!

Another layout I had already done was about one of our homes.  I had taken photos of different aspects of our home, inside and out,  Then I used a square punch to cut out small squares.  I then arranged them in a collage style.  We no longer live at this home, so it is fun to look at the pics and think of when we did!

The layout to your right shows nine squares on green.  This is actually a flap that when you raise it reveals journaling about our home.  It was a way to get more photos in the layout and record memories.

My husband does make my heart sing. . .

This is a layout in progress.  It was a ready-made layout I purchased at a local store.  I did have the perfect photo of my cutie-husband to put on it, so I did!

Now for other ideas for almanac postings or pages. . .

*  Nicknames for one another- how do you sign notes, what terms of endearment do you call one another?  You get the idea!

*  Our Bucket List- what are things you want to do together in life before you die?  Make a list and date them as they happen!  My hubby totally surprised me with one of mine in August 2010!

*  10 free things your spouse does to make you feel loved.  Our lists are ongoing. . . sometimes it is hard to think of things on the spot.  So be prepared to give yourself or spouse time to think of their answer.  It doesn't mean they don't have any, it is just difficult to come up with them quickly.

*Places you want to visit/travel together. . .

Look for pre-made cards or sayings like the ones in some of the photos.  They make quick and easy journaling blocks.  You also see some of our lists we've made that haven't been put into our book yet.  I included them so you could see other topics!

*  Dream Dates- my hubby said "Sarah"; wrong meaning there sweetie!  He was joking around, but in our minds dream dates were similar to vacations we'd take with each other.  You can determine what it means for you and your spouse.

*  Ways you can praise your spouse. . . We did this years ago in a church class on marriage and we had to finish the phrase "I praise you, (name), for. . .  I have never forgotten what my husband said to me.  It needs to be one specific thing or way, not just a generalization.  Mine to my husband was, "I praise you, Ronnie, for your commitment to us and for your help around the house that gives me a break."

*  List 5 admirable qualities of your spouse and tell why

*  List 5 things I LOVE and 5 things that drive me crazy about my spouse. . . now hopefully your spouse already knows of these and it won't start an argument or be a surprise.  If that's the case. . . skip or have the conversation first!  We used it as a spring board for more discussion and things we can do to help the other one remember the items in a kind manner.  Plus ours weren't major things either. . . at least not to us.

*  Make a list of how you spent each anniversary since you have been married.  Check out www.thedatingdivas.com for some great ideas or also shannonbrown.typepad.com for some fun date ideas!

*  Define true love

*  List all the reasons you are in love with your spouse


*  What would you consider a perfect weekend getaway?  Come up with this together, or each of you write your own and then you have an idea of what your spouse would like to do.  Surprise them with that gift sometime!

*  What kinds of "together" things do you enjoy with your spouse?

*  Our song is. . .  because. . .

*  List words you would use to describe your spouse

*  Make a list of words or phrases that capture the meaning of love

*  When I look into my spouse's eyes I see. . .

*  Make a list of wishes you have for your spouse. . . I wish for...

*  Books you've read together or want to read together. . . possibly ones to strengthen your marriage

*  Make a list of your spouse's passions in life (without having to ask them)

*  Ways you celebrate holidays, birthdays or special occasions

*  Make a list of your "favorites" (color, snack, food, drink, sport, candy, movie, tv show, book, song, clothes, pjs, magazine, room in house, restaurant, ice cream, dinner, breakfast food, kind of music, kind of movies, car, hobbies, sports teams, places to shop, etc)

 

 

These are a few pages of journaling blocks I made for us to use in our almanac.  Visit www.shabbyprincess.com for the digital kits used to make them.  There are elements from Clementine and Wild Love.  I hope to make more for our book, but maybe these ideas will inspire you!

Write Your Own Love Story. . .

I love to read Christian romance novels and a few years ago began a reading streak that took me off course.  I say "off course" as in it side-tracked me from my own life.  I just had to finish a book before going to bed or I read instead of doing things with my kids. . . it consumed my time!  Some of the "quick read" books were the ones by Love Inspired, they were quick to read and didn't have a complicated plot.  Well, the more I read these books the more I began thinking  I wish my husband did that for me, Why can't my spouse be more like that?, etc and those thoughts began to bother me.  I am deeply committed to my husband and always was while reading these books, but my mindset went from satisfaction to wishful thinking.

Fortunately, the Lord led me to reflect on why this might be and how could I change it.  I realized that these books, even though they are Christian, made me want things (not other men) other than what my spouse was giving me at the time.  DANGER!  Whoa-- stop right there!  That is not good or Biblical nor is it fair to my husband.  Then I started to think of our relationship and how it played out over the years and decided if I wrote down all the loving, thoughtful things my husband did for me while we were dating, engaged and then married I would have my own love story.

The authors of those books don't write with these intentions, but we are wordly and satan uses ANYTHING he can to steer us away from Christ.  I wanted to think more about our love story and began remembering all the things we would do together, words we would say to each other, how we would dream together, how we stuck out tough times while dating/engaged and other things that demonstrated our love for one another.  Wow!  My story began looking better than the books I was reading and the best thing is. . . my story isn't fiction!

I encourage you to record thoughts about your love story with your spouse.  Start by thinking of how you met, first date, memorable events, little things that showed your love for one another and begin slowly building an outline of your story.  Make a journal for it and go back with your spouse and work on it together!  My guess is you have a love story worthy of recording.  We just need to keep our eyes and hearts open to what we have and what Christ has given us. . . be committed to your spouse and only your spouse.

In the end I decided I could no longer read those books without getting sidetracked-- even though I knew better.  I am glad I took that step because it has allowed my husband and I time to work on a goal we have together-- to help other married couples.  If I was still caught up in the romances I wouldn't be able to see clearly to know how wonderful I have it!  All I can say is-- Thank you God for my husband!
Sarah