Hello Again!

Summer has been a busy time full of ups and downs. I am still looking for a full-time job and trying to figure out what I am meant to do. One child broke her arm and has had to sit out of soccer... but she still made the team! We all went on a mission trip to Fort Worth, Texas in June. That was an incredible week as a family serving the Lord! Then our kids both spent time with their aunt, uncle and her boys and then also spent time away from home at camp and friends' house. Now we are looking towards the start of the school year as the girls begin high school and junior high! In May, we attended a Strong Bonds marriage retreat put on by the National Guard. I am so excited to say that we get to return to the next retreat in a few weeks. This time we get to help with the sex panel (question/answer time) and I get to share my couple's almanac with the group! I am busy getting my things gathered for this event- I am getting my pre-printed couple's almanac questions ready to post for sale.

Sheet Music: Sex is Worth the Effort

Sheet Music Book Review: Chapter 3 Dr. Kevin Leman is straightforward in sharing his reasons for "Why a Good Sex Life is Worth Striving For" in this third chapter of Sheet Music. This is the chapter that really woke me up and caught my attention. Our sex life was never lacking, but this chapter gave me a much better understanding to the importance of sex to a husband and what I could do as a wife to support my husband in this way. For this chapter I will use an outline format for sharing his reasons. 1. A fulfilling sex life is one of the most powerful marital glues a couple can have. The type of sex he is speaking of takes some work and thinking ahead, but is worth the extra effort. 2. If a husband is sexually fulfilled he tends to be a better husband, father and employee. A wife tends to have less stress and more joy in life. 3. Reasons why a wife should want to make her husband happy: a) A sexually fulfilled husband will do anything for you. b) A sexually fulfilled husband is a scriptural mandate (THIS one right here was an ah-ha moment for me). c)A sexually fulfilled husband will feel good about himself (this has to do with how a wife responds to him sexually). d) A sexually fulfilled husband will take on his life work with a vigor and purpose. e) A sexually fulfilled husband appreciates the important things in life. He will either be home-centered or outside-the-home centered. 4. Reasons why a husband wants to make his wife "purr" (his word, not mine): a) It's better to watch-- one woman in particular. The best satisfaction comes from satisfying someone else (spouse), not from being satisfied. b) Who's winning the marriage? If one spouse has the upper hand of control, then you are both losing out in the marriage. Marriage is a relationship, not a sport. Selflessness is where it is at... think of the other person before you think of yourself. c) Sexually pursue your wife outside the bedroom. Men-- get active in helping around the house and allow the seducing to take place all day. A woman can't just separate sex into a physical act, it is one where she thinks of emotional closeness, history, context and more. This chapter goes into much more detail with each reason, I just wanted to hit the highlights. Getting the book and reading it with your spouse will allow you all to communicate with one another about what you come across. If that proves difficult, it comes easier the more you talk about it. Also, we have written notes to one another in the margins before discussing together so we have an idea of what the other is thinking. But nothing beats the face-to-face communication on this topic. Like I mentioned, this chapter had the most impact on me as a wife. I knew the Bible spoke of sexual relations in a marriage, but never really considered that is was a Biblical mandate. To have a closer relationship with Christ, I need to follow His commands. Including this one-- hey the book Song of Songs is full of sexual imagery. It is a win-win for me and my spouse; I can please my husband and my Lord.

Sheet Music: What's in your RULEBOOK?

SHEET MUSIC: Chapter 2 Who is crowded with you in your marriage bed? More then you probably think! There is baggage that each spouse enters the marriage with and contributes to shaping your sexual intimacy. All this baggage forms into what Dr. Leman calls your "rulebook." These are unconscious, but very influential beliefs that you hold about how things should be done (especially in bed). Dr. Leman warns us that no two people are alike, so each person's rulebook will be different. What contributes to our rulebook? 1) parental influences- how were you brought up to think about sex? What is in your past that shapes your view today? 2) birth order- what order you are born in effects the dynamics of your personality which in turn effects expectations in bed. 3) early memories- early childhood memories (before third grade age). These early events helped shape how things should be done and expectations about life. What are your tendancies based on your past history? You have to know what your tendancies are before you can "edit" them. The remainder of this chapter discusses what you can do to edit your rulebook. It also discussed your sexual past and whether to share or not to share that past. VERY good information from Dr. Kevin Leman.

"Sheet Music" book review

I am so glad my hubby made it home after being gone all last week. It was so nice to see him and have him back by my side. We had a busy weekend and a wonderful Easter. Hope it was the same for you.

Here is my review of the book "Sheet Music" by Dr. Kevin Leman. Visit his site at: www.drleman.com Reviews / Comments WOWZA! STRAIGHT-FORWARD, TRUTHFUL AND BIBLICAL "This book is amazing! Each year during my husband's two-week Annual Training I get a marriage book to read while he is away and then we share on the phone or when he gets home. This was a read from several years ago and we refer to it often! It is well-worn and has many notes in the margins! Dr. Leman has a straight-forward and entertaining approach with this book. That's refreshing to see when it is about sex. This book opened my eyes as a wife to the sexual needs my husband has and what an important role I play. Not only did it make me more aware, but I am benefiting from the advice as much as my hubby. We are happily enjoying connecting in more ways than the bedroom. By understanding my husband and knowing some of the "why" it is he is wired this way I can make more sense of his needs. I want to please him and this book has helped me accomplish that. He would tell you the same thing in regards to me. This isn't a book for those not yet married and it doesn't hint around anything. Straight-forward, truthful and above all-- Biblical!" Apr 09 2012, 11:46 AM by Sarah S I plan to go through the book and include more details on each chapter(s). My husband and I feel this is such an important topic for couples to address and we hope you will join us as we share our thoughts with you. Happy Tuesday!