Monday, May 7, 2012
Sheet Music: Sex is Worth the Effort
Sheet Music Book Review: Chapter 3 Dr. Kevin Leman is straightforward in sharing his reasons for "Why a Good Sex Life is Worth Striving For" in this third chapter of Sheet Music. This is the chapter that really woke me up and caught my attention. Our sex life was never lacking, but this chapter gave me a much better understanding to the importance of sex to a husband and what I could do as a wife to support my husband in this way. For this chapter I will use an outline format for sharing his reasons. 1. A fulfilling sex life is one of the most powerful marital glues a couple can have. The type of sex he is speaking of takes some work and thinking ahead, but is worth the extra effort. 2. If a husband is sexually fulfilled he tends to be a better husband, father and employee. A wife tends to have less stress and more joy in life. 3. Reasons why a wife should want to make her husband happy: a) A sexually fulfilled husband will do anything for you. b) A sexually fulfilled husband is a scriptural mandate (THIS one right here was an ah-ha moment for me). c)A sexually fulfilled husband will feel good about himself (this has to do with how a wife responds to him sexually). d) A sexually fulfilled husband will take on his life work with a vigor and purpose. e) A sexually fulfilled husband appreciates the important things in life. He will either be home-centered or outside-the-home centered. 4. Reasons why a husband wants to make his wife "purr" (his word, not mine): a) It's better to watch-- one woman in particular. The best satisfaction comes from satisfying someone else (spouse), not from being satisfied. b) Who's winning the marriage? If one spouse has the upper hand of control, then you are both losing out in the marriage. Marriage is a relationship, not a sport. Selflessness is where it is at... think of the other person before you think of yourself. c) Sexually pursue your wife outside the bedroom. Men-- get active in helping around the house and allow the seducing to take place all day. A woman can't just separate sex into a physical act, it is one where she thinks of emotional closeness, history, context and more. This chapter goes into much more detail with each reason, I just wanted to hit the highlights. Getting the book and reading it with your spouse will allow you all to communicate with one another about what you come across. If that proves difficult, it comes easier the more you talk about it. Also, we have written notes to one another in the margins before discussing together so we have an idea of what the other is thinking. But nothing beats the face-to-face communication on this topic. Like I mentioned, this chapter had the most impact on me as a wife. I knew the Bible spoke of sexual relations in a marriage, but never really considered that is was a Biblical mandate. To have a closer relationship with Christ, I need to follow His commands. Including this one-- hey the book Song of Songs is full of sexual imagery. It is a win-win for me and my spouse; I can please my husband and my Lord.