This past March we had a speaker from Indiana come speak about purity and teens. It was for our DNOW weekend at our church. We were able to hear her (Crystal) speak several different times. She had some really good information for the students. Some of the information made me wonder if adults would have known this would our marriages be any different? Would the divorce rate be as high?
I will try my best to articulate her thoughts on teenage dating habits because it really makes sense when you think about it. The overall thought is that guys/gals shouldn't really DATE until they are ready to get married. There are several reasons for this:
1. Before you date you are a "whole" person and nothing of yourself has been given away-- this can mean mentally, emotionally or even physically. Each time you date someone you are giving a little bit of yourself to them in some way; feelings get hurt, therefore future relationships will be different because of that relationship. So how much of yourslef will be left for your future spouse?
2. 90% of high school relationships don't last, so why go through all the heartache and hurt if you don't have to? In the teenage years it practically impossible developmentally to be emotionally commited to one person.
3. Avoid the exclusive or belonging to someone scenerio. You cannot belong to someone, so why get exclusive when you pretty much know that the relationship has a 90% chance of ending (usually not on good terms). In the end someone will get hurt, and that leads back to the first point.
4. What happens when you date someone and then you get tired of them or they do something that annoys you? Much of the time you break-up or end the relationship. This is practicing DIVORCE type behaviors! If you do this over and over enough that is what gets imprinted in your brain; so what happens when you get married and all of sudden you can't/won't leave your spouse because your bored or annoyed? Is this why commitment is so hard for some?
There are probably other things I am leaving out from her discussions with the teens and parents. I am sure I'll refer to her often because she had such good information for teens today. And if teens today can stay on the right path through high school and college then they are more likely to have a stronger marriage because of it. Another good topic she spoke on was "How far is too far?". I'll give her thoughts and my thoughts on that later.
If you have a hard time with commitment could it be because of one of the above scenerios? Only you know that. Recognizing the difficulty is a beginning and talking with your spouse so they understand why is important. Pray together and if necessary go to a counselor or pastor. Your marriage can grow and become stronger-- and that honors Christ!